Is pre-school really necessary?

I have two sons, 3 and 6 months, which means I've given a lot of thought to pre-K education lately. And though I'm probably opening myself up to criticism, here's the decision that my husband and I have come to: We're not going to send our boys to pre-school.

I tend to think there's quite a bit of "keeping up with the Joneses" that goes into what we do with our kids. My parenting philosophy is decidedly laid-back — when I was pregnant with my first, my parenting manual of choice was "The Three Martini Playdate," if that tells you anything. Side note: It's an excellent and hilarious book. You should totally read it.

But even given this, I feel a lot of pressure to send my sons to some name-recognized pre-school around here. And I won't deny that there's obviously benefits to it. So not enrolling them is not a decision we came to without deliberation, of course.

I had discussions with a couple of parent friends — who represent two pretty different parenting philosophies — about what they thought pre-school did for their kids. And they both told me essentially the same thing: They weren't sure the money they paid for their kids' pre-school education was worth it; and if they had to do it over again, they weren't even sure they'd send their kids to pre-school at all.

We talked about what their kids learned at their schools, and it seems to me that, between what my son learns at daycare and what we teach him at home, we'll arrive at roughly the same destination that they did with their kids in terms of social, emotional and intellectual standards for kindergarten preparedness.

So, we've made the decision. But I'm interested in hearing and learning from other parents out there. Did you send your kids to pre-school? Was it worth it? Am I giving this too much thought?

Comments

[Michele M]

I moved to Far North Dallas last fall. I looked at a preschool in our neighborhood & did not send send my 4 year old there. Why? The requirement was an option of 4 or 4 1/2 days a week. I think that was a bit much. I was told I was doing my child a disservice if I didn't have her in preschool by the preschool director. She did eventually go to a Parent's Day Out program 3 days a week 9am - noon. I do feel that it helped her socialize more and get used to not being with me all the time. She made friends with children that now go to her elementary school.

Now that my daughter is in Kindergarten, I am seeing what she is learning. What is your left & right? Can you write your abc's? All of these things she already knows, but has to go over again. So no, I don't think preschool is neccessary.

I also joined a group that helped me meet other parents w/ preschool aged children called Far North Dallas Early Childhood PTA. http://fndecpta.txpta.org/ or http://moms.meetup.com/2625/

[Kris Scott]

Thanks for your comments, Michele. I guess it's the director's job to put on the hard sell, huh? Even though it's not technically a pre-school, I feel like my son's daycare is giving him all the things other kids are getting at said pre-schools: socialization and the basics that you mentioned. I also think it's incumbent upon parents to reinforce those basics at home, and I really enjoy doing that. I'm glad you mentioned the Early Childhood PTA — those are all over Dallas and are invaluable groups as far as I can tell. I should be looking into one near me. Thanks!